A blond decides to do something she’s never done before – rent a dirty movie. She drives to the local Video Warehouse and makes here way to the adult section in the back. After looking around at titles, she selects a something that sounds very stimulating. She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment there’s nothing but static on the screen. She calls the store to complain and says, “I just rented an adult movie from you and there’s nothing on the tape, but static.” The clerk apologized about the defective video and asked, “Which title did you rent?” The blond replied, “It’s called ‘Head Cleaner.’”
Wrong again!
I made a right prat of myself in a pub quiz the other night when asked the question ‘Where do most women have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer is Africa.
Greenhouse heating system
I’m seriously thinking of buying some sort of heating system for the greenhouse in time for Spring. Paraffin is too bloody smelly. You come out of the greenhouse stinking of it.
I’m favouring heated mats, which means buying the mats, a thermostat to control the temperature, and a transformer to run electrics from the house into the greenhouse.
Think I’ll do a bit of googling and see what I can come up with.
Onions turning into leeks :)
Not much happening lately as you can imagine.
Went round to see my “onions” today, and they are starting to look like leeks!
In the meantime, here is a “cleaned up” joke doing the rounds…
I was walking down the road the other day when I bumped into Mike Tyson. He had lost both arms in a motorcycle accident. I remembered all the fights he had and how he was one of the greatest heavyweight boxers I had ever seen. I was lost for words, what could I say, he had been my hero. I looked into his eyes and suddenly found the courage to say something… ‘Come on then son, Let’s have it’
My little soldier
The remaining leek on the window sill is still stood upright after Dianne watered it. I think she’s been popping some of my viagra in the water!
She is so proud of it. I might water it with some vodka when she goes to bed and watch her face tomorrow when she gets up and it’s flopping.
R.I.P. leeks
After losing more of the original Yorkshire Giant leeks in the greenhouse, I decided that I was wasting my time and money (paraffin) continuing to look after them, so I turned the heating off. After a couple of days of -3° in the greenhouse, Dianne reported that there was only one leek left standing.
“Might as well bring the bugger into the house” I says. She brought it in, only to find that the compost in the 3½” pot was frozen solid!
The next day, the leek had thawed out and flopped. It had only been left standing up ‘cos it was bloody frozen!
Surprise, surprise, the next day (today) the leek is stood there straight as a soldier on the windowsill!
Pip’s progress
The Yorkshire Giant bulbils that I received have now rooted and are starting to come away. Here’s a pic of them, together with a pic of Dave’s own that he set off in November.
It’s getting cold!
Even with the paraffin heater on, the temperature went down to 1.5°C in the greenhouse last night. I still haven’t ventured out to look at the leeks yet, relying on reports from Dianne ( they’ve probably been dead for over a week 
)